Self-defeating Loops in life

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In this post we will look at how many a times because of our unconscious conflicting believes we end up binding ourselves in loops which are responsible for certain problems that we may be experiencing.

Case Study – Life Loops

The idea of life loops or problem loops came about because of an interaction with one of my friends. She told me about specific problems she was facing in her life, especially work-related ones.

She mentioned that a lot of work-related projects came to her last year, but for some reason or other, she couldn’t see the projects through. Those projects either got delayed or cancelled, or someone misbehaved with her, resulting in her leaving the project.

She told me that she had reached a point in her life where she quickly lost hope and faith in God. Also, what bothered her the most was that she almost stopped praying. She believed that this could be the reason for her problems.

When asked about her reasons for thinking so, she said she had always believed that God gives you what you ask for from him. So, for her, prayers were the way of telling God what she would like to receive in her life and showing gratitude for listening to her.

She also said, “I feel very guilty and afraid when I’m unable to pray. Guilty that I’m not doing what I should and afraid that if I don’t pray, I won’t get what I want.”

The Realization

At the end of the conversation, she told me about a realisation that dawned on her.

She said “it’s incredible that we end up doing things without being aware of what we’re actually doing, and how those things are affecting us.”

According to her, there were two very important things that she understood now after our conversation. They are:

  1. Though she thought she prayed to God out of love, she was actually doing it out of fear.
  2. This fear had created a kind of loop in her life that could be responsible for her problem with work.

The following is the summary of her understanding of the loop she was into, in her words :

“I would pray to God about getting work. The prayers would get answered, and I would receive new projects. Since my work is very hectic, these projects left me with very little time for myself. As a result, I wouldn’t be able to pray. This would make me feel guilty and afraid. And then, I would create/attract situations that would lead to the projects being delayed or cancelled so that I would get the time to pray again.”

She said it was amazing how she had put herself in a loop without even realising it.

These self-defeating loops end up creating a downward spiral in our lives which we are not even able to identify most of the times.


It is clear that life loops can be a significant obstacle for individuals looking to overcome problems and challenges in their lives. By becoming aware of unconscious conflicting beliefs and their role in creating these loops, coaches can help their clients break out of self-defeating patterns and move forward in a more positive direction.

If you are a coach looking to learn more about supporting clients stuck in life loops, we invite you to join us for our Cognitive Hypnotic Coaching® diploma. With this training, you will gain the skills and knowledge needed to effectively help your clients identify and resolve the underlying beliefs holding them back, empowering them to make lasting positive changes.

If you are a psychologist, the Cognitive Hypnotic Psychotherapy® diploma is what you must be checking out.